Always so big questions

So close to the edge of the human mind. Always on the edge. Always so big questions. What is keeping me up? Why is it so difficult to be totally honest? Who am I making an act for? Why is it so hard to be totally me, totally free?  I mean, after all I have experienced and seen so far, my gut feeling says that the joy that I am longing for, is already inside me, available if I dare to say Yes! But it is so hard sometimes, to do it differently this time. To say yes instead of no. It seems easier to slide onto the same old track, at least it is familiar and somewhat comfortable. But I want more, I want the juice of existence. Am I too spoiled?

I dont want a fancy car and a big tv,
I want to be free inside you see

It seems like this desire is keeping me up somehow, somewhere deep inside I know that I can have all that my heart want, but I need to give something, I need to do my part.

Lovepoem to the land

I am in love with a place, so peaceful and clean

the animals lives here,
the lynx and the moose

I want to take care of this land
together with you

we can create a space of love
where we can be who we are
and all that we can be

I feel inspired to create and play
to work hard and relax deeply
to run and dance

I wonder if the place has chosen me
or if I forever will dream about how wonderful it could be